a) Ticket acquisition process
On Monday afternoon I was on the Daily Show website and saw that they had tickets available for the next day’s show. So I signed up for one, yay.
b) Hurrying up and waiting, questioning
Since they overbook for the show, they recommend that you arrive between 3:30 and 4, so I decided to get there at 3. I had planned to leave at 2 and take the m31 bus. I hopstopped it and everything. But of course I didn’t get in the shower until 1:52 pm, giving me 8 minutes of prep time. So I was faced with a dilemma (making me a dulcarnon, for those of you reading Reading the OED, addressed later). Should I run wet-headed and un-made-up for the bus? I mean does it REALLY matter what I look like? I’m not gonna be on TV. OR should I be wasteful and take a cab so I can put my face on? Well, I chose the latter option, and even went so far as to apply the Pink Lipstick. The Pink Lipstick is one of those multi-step lip painting devices where you apply the color, wait for it to set, and then put the gloss over it. And the Pink Lipstick is seriously bright. The actual color is Rosestone, but I think it should be called Electric Magenta. When I am wearing it, I’m pretty sure you can see my lips on Google Earth.
Sounds clownish and unattractive, right? Well, the joke’s on you, Pink Lipstick skeptics. I am 60% certain that the reason that the Pink Lipstick is the reason why Jon Stewart called on me to answer a question during the brief pre-show Q & A. At least I think he called on me. He may have just been putting his hand out to block the light glinting off my face. At any rate, I started shouting a question at him when he signaled in my direction.
(What happened leading up to that glorious moment isn’t that exciting: I waited outside for a very very very long time. Then I waited inside for a very very very long time. Then the warmup comic said blah blah blah and we chuckled. Then he said are you ready to meet Jon Stewart and we said yay, woohoooo, etc.)
Then Jon Stewart came out and 2 people asked questions and then he called on yours truly. Like I said, it was 60% Pink Lipstick and 40% the fact that I was raising my hand so hard that I may have hyper extended both my shoulder and elbow.
I wanted to know if he was going to write another book. So I said (in the voice of a helium-filled, strangulated chipmunk), “HI! Are you…?” And he said, “A Sagittarius? Why yes I am,” and he did a funny dance, and people laughed, and then I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to ask my question again, and there was an awkward pause where I’m sure people were thinking “Spit it out, lady!” or “Get the lead out, Kewpie!” or something else disparaging my apparent prolongation of my moment in the sun. And Jon Stewart said, “Sorry, am I what?” and this is where I was supposed to say “Actually that was my question, if you’re a Sagittarius,” but I just said “Areyouplanningtowriteanotherbook,” and he said, “Yes, we’re actually working on one right now. It’s called…The Secret. It’s about how to live your life.” And people laughed and he moved on to the next question, and then a few minutes later they started the show and it was SO FUN to be there.
c) The show
There are big monitors where you can see the news clips they comment on, just like you do at home. And you can see Jon at the desk with the little superimposed square beside him with the graphics in it. My eye kept getting drawn to the monitor since it looks exactly like what I’m used to seeing on TV. SO I had to keep reminding myself to watch the actual LIVE JON STEWART because what’s the point of being there if I’m just going to watch what I can see on TV?
The show seemed to go by really fast. When it was over, I walked over to Columbus Circle to take the subway home (no time crunch this time), and before I went down to the train I went into Borders. Paula Deen happened to be speaking, so I listened to her for a few minutes. I don’t watch her show, but I thought she was pretty funny in person.